Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize