Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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