Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
