all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
