i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
