He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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