you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
