I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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