Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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