STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Enjoy the penises
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize