Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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