We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
