Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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