Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
