im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
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If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
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You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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