I CAN MOONWALK!
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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