I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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