I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
