The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
