I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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