There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
