Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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