You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
