She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize