i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was CRYING into my vagina
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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