I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
