Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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