Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
