i permit you to call me
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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