Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
