There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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