she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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