Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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