Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm sobbing to NWA
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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