John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize