I'm jealous of your bromance
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
