Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
