we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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