Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
