There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
