Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
