8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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