Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
