The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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