what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
