Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
