She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.