I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad