Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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