yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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