For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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