I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Sacagawea was the original milf.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
