so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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