I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
