ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
