I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
