She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
