Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
