i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
