I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
