If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
