did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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