Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize
