I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
