absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
