yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
