apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
